New Shtuff

Oh hey.
It's just me, you know. The terrible blogger.

Today is July 24th and it's 1 in the morning. I'm on Skype with Marco right now; You know, that amazing boyfriend of mine that I mentioned in my last blog. :] We got on the topic of old blogs and after going through all my old blogs including this one, I decided it was time to write a new one.

I got to go visit him in New York for the week of the 4th of July. It was AMAZING. I seriously love that boy so much. When I was going through my old blogs, I found one that I had when I was dating Kyhl... I was constantly sad and depressed in all of those posts. It's amazing that I allowed myself to stay with someone that constantly made me feel terrible. Marco gives me a reason to smile every day and makes me strive to be better in everything that I do. He's truly a great person, and I can't even put into words how much he's changed my life for the better and changed my views on a lot of things. :]

Enough of the typical mushy Natalie stuff.

I have been working at Smart Style for almost 3 years; about 3 months shy. I am loving doing hair. It is such a fun and rewarding job, and I love meeting all the people that come through my chair. We've gone through about 7 girls since I've been there. We have a pretty good team right now. I love those girls (most of the time). Haha.

We've pretty much got everything finished at the house, including the yard and all that. We used our fire pit for the first time tonight. We got to make s'mores. It was so relaxing to just watch and listen to the fire... there is just something about a fire. We had a long, hard, busy day today. We took everything out of our shed and cleaned out all the dust and sorted through everything; I got a pretty good sunburn.

I have a few new plans for the future... So I have about 8 months worth of payments left on my car and then I want to start saving all my money so I can move to New York to be with Marco, and start a new life in a big city. :] I'm super excited; I've always wanted to live in big city and I really want to be closer to Marco. I've never wanted something so bad in my life. :] Well, that's all I've got for now.

Nice seein' ya. ;)

It's been an entire year....

Since I have posted last. Talk about really being a slacker.

So much has happened this year I don't even know where to start. I am still doing hair at Smart Style. I've been there for 2 years and a couple months now. I still absolutely love doing hair. I've been building up a pretty decent clientele. :] I love all the girls I work with, with one exception, but I'm sure that situation will work itself all out. I've met some truly interesting people doing hair, and love all the stories I get to hear.

I've been keeping up on painting, and have a whole area set up in my room for it. I'm still pretty mediocre, but I love doing it. It's very relaxing a therapeutic. Here is some of my work:




I have an amazing boyfriend. His name is Marco and he is from Queens, New York. I went there back in September to see him. He really is perfect to me. Never rude or mean. Always makes time to talk to me. Just makes me feel good about myself and always pushes me to do my best, and do what makes me happy. I can't wait to move to Seattle with him. He is an art student at Queens borough community college; he really is an amazing artist. We may not to get see each other as often as we like, but our love is strong. <3 I love you Marco.

But with the good, there is always bad. We found out that my dad has prostate cancer this year, and unfortunately his is a rare aggressive form of cancer; it has already spread throughout the bones in his body. He is taking chemo treatments at the Huntsman Cancer Center in Utah. At this point we are just trying to keep the cancer from spreading any further, in hopes that a cure can be found. Family has always been very important to me, but it's at times like these that you truly realize the abruptness of life, and learn to never take things or people for granted. I love you Dad. <3 Also, I want to say that my mother is one of the strongest people I know. Between working two jobs, and now this, I don't know how she does it... Stays strong for all of us, and still provides for us, and takes care of all of us. She truly is remarkable woman. I love you mom. <3

Last bits of info:

My parent's sold their house and moved into the one I bought; it's really nice having the whole family together again. Ryan and Ashley bought a house over by our aunt Debbie not far from us.

Christmas was really nice this year. I'll hopefully have a Christmas post up soon with pictures.

It's been... awhile.

Seems when you get caught up in everything, you kind of forget to blog... or maybe more than kind of.

Well, Christmas was two days ago. I spent the night at my parent's house on Christmas Eve. Tyson had to work a 12 hour shift on Christmas, so we all woke up early so we could watch Ty open his presents and open our presents from him before he had to go to work. After my parents and I finished opening our presents we got to watch Ry's kids open their presents on Tokbox. (www.tokbox.com) It made me miss the hell out of them. I can't wait till June when we go to visit them for a week. As always, we went to Wayne and Marcia's for Danish coffee cakes; got to see Cheryl's son, Chad, after about 5 years. It was a nice surprise. My mom had everyone over for dinner at 6 that night. I got to have my favorite meatballs. It's always nice to get together with all the relatives. I am very blessed for the family I have. We are all so full of love, and hold onto family traditions. I never laugh as hard as I do, as when I'm hanging out with my family. There, of course, was a lot of Mexican Train and Apples to Apples played that night.

I spent some time with Joe today. I gave him his Christmas present: Tea Tree Shampoo, Touche Amore hoodie, truckstop beanie, and a hotsauce 5 set. He got me a band of Horses LP, and my turntable is coming in the mail still. He's a really nice guy. Always up front and honest. Makes me laugh; not afraid/ashamed of who he is. Amazing chef and music connoisseur. Been taking it considerably slow with him. It's a nice change.

New Years is coming up. This is the time of year that always makes me reflect on everything I've been though this year, and it's been kind of nice having this blog to look back on all that. It's also a time when I think of change. Where my life is going now; what I want out of life. I want to go to school this year. I want to meet new people. I want to build up my clientele at work. As always I want to blog more frequent than I usually do. hah.

Well, I hope this gets you more up to speed.

Words.

I hate trying to convey a thought or a feeling when there does not seem to be any words to even begin to describe them. There are some things in life that you can only be felt, and unfortunately you can't tell someone how to feel those things. They are the rarest of feelings; more valuable than gold, diamonds, or life. They are what make life worth living. Unfortunately, some of us may start to have these thoughts and feelings at the most inconvenient of times. However, if you are able to overcome all obstacles thrown at you to interrupt your path, you will be able to enjoy an amplified version of this already, astounding feeling. I'm not going to call this feeling love, because that simply does not do it justice. It makes me sad when I see a lot of people who go their whole life with someone that they may love, but not have this "upper-tier" version of love with.. "We accept the love we think we deserve."

I can definitely see that I am not the same person I was ten years ago, five years ago, a year ago, or even 6 months ago. Obviously, we are ever-changing and ever-growing, so that is expected. But I feel I have become a completely different person. We all have our trials and tribulations that mold us over time... and it is up to us to decide if we want them to influence us negatively or positively. I know that everyone has their own demons that they are fighting... and I don't think that we have to fight them alone. I think that we all have different stories that no one else will ever be able to write. But ultimately we are striving the same thing... to be wanted and to belong; to find our place in this world.

We may all die alone, but we can definitely live together. I'm not quite sure the exact reason why we are here, but I think it is to learn to love; to coexist. I don't think you can truly know who you are, until you find someone who makes you feel those things mentioned earlier... You don't know your full potential until you find that person who makes you want to give your everything.

I don't really know where I'm going with this....
Just trying to verbalize some things...
Trying to understand them.

Life is funny...

One minute you think you know where you're going in life, and the next you are upside down and backwards. So many times, I've thought I had it all figured out... and so many times, it's changed. One year ago I though I was going to be moving to a different state with a man I thought I was going to live with and potentially marry. Two years ago I didn't want anything to do with any sort of relationship. Three years ago I was still with my first love, thinking that we were going to get married and had hopes of having children....

Priorities change, opinions change, people change, and life changes.

Right now, I have no idea what I want out of life. I love doing hair, but who knows how much longer my back and shoulders will permit that. Today was probably the worst day as far as the pain in my back goes; and that really scared me. If I don't get that fixed soon, doing hair might not ever be an option... and I have no idea what I'd want to do career-wise besides hair. The thought of going to college petrifies me... I don't know why. Every one tells me I'd do fine, because I'm responsible, have good study skills, etc, but I really don't think college is for me. It seems like unnecessary debt. Trade schools just make so much more sense to me... But what do I know?

As far as relationships go, every guy I meet just wants a piece of ass. I'm at the point in my life where I want to date someone for it to go somewhere, not like some 3 week high school fling. It drives me crazy that once I start to think that someone is different, they just prove to be the same. And when I finally meet the most legit guy, it's pretty much an impossible situation. I don't know why I care so much about having someone... I'm young; I know that. But it is just nice to know that there is one person that cares about you and loves you and is thinking about you all the time. I don't know.

I think I'll stop while I don't sound completely pathetic....

Ch Ch Changes.

Am I the only person who rearranges their space to relax? I have always loved rearranging furniture; it is a huge stress reliever. I think I'm going to buy a couch and get a smaller bed. This big bed I have is just a huge space taker-upper. I also think I'm going to try and find a better way to arrange some other items of furniture like this desk I'm sitting at... i just don't like how I ended up having my apt... we just kinda found a space for everything so I could get moved in.

I have had a hard time sleeping lately. Today it finally caught up with me. I got really sick at work today. Ended up throwing up and almost passing out. My boss sent me home, and I slept for about 8 hours. I felt a lot better when I woke up, but I still had a pounding migraine; I've been getting a lot of migraines lately... I don't really know why; just started happening. My goal is to get into bed at a decent time tonight. I'm aiming for midnight... haha.

I made a really good friend recently. True genuine friends are hard to find these days. Everyone's always lookin' to get ahead... No one really wants to listen to your problems, everyone just wants to be friends with someone because it's socially beneficial. If you can find someone who will just listen to you and truly cares... You've found someone that you probably won't ever have the chance to find again. Friends like that are rarer than diamonds; and consequently more valuable.

Last thing that I really care to blog about is this dress my mom bought me the other day... it gives me that 20's - esque feel.

Thoughts...

The past couple months have been so full of change... Not only physically, but mentally as well. Moving out has definitely been a good change for me, although I do miss being able to go to my moms room at night and vent and get a backrub. :] Or knock on Tyson's door and watch him play video games. Family has always been very important to me, but the older I get, the more I realize just how important family really is. They are the ones who are always there, and always love you.

The first 2 weeks after I moved out went really well; getting adjusted and setting up my apartment kept me entertained, but then I started to get into depression mode. My depression hasn't ever been too bad... I've usually been able to supress it and keep myself occupied with something else, but when you have nothing but time to think, it's kinda hard. I've been trying to find releases through friends, work, and religion. Rufio came to me just in time... He gives me something to look foreword to and eliminates my loneliness. He puts a smile on my face, and keeps me busy. My heart is overflowing with love for my little furry miracle. I don't think people realize just how much I needed Rufio, and how much he means to me...

I want to start reading more... I mean.. I read at least 4 times a week, but I'd like to read longer or more days... Idk. I love reading; I don't know why I don't do it more. Probably because I spend all my time on the internet facebooking and blogging and all all that internet jazz. Sometimes I feel like our lives have become some futuristic popularity contest... I wish I could quit the internet... I probably could, if there weren't certain people that I enjoy talking to on here. Hmm. :/

I also, want to lose, weight, but I doubt that will happen... I'm not trying to be a pessimist. I'm a a realist. I'm a lazy ass, and I love food.... Not the best combo for wanting to lose weight.. haha.

Alright.. that's enough.
Time for some TRU TV and Rufio cuddles.<3

Meet Rufio.

Meet Rufio. :] The newest member in my family. :] He's about 1 month old; he's super cuddly, and super playful. I adopted him from this little girl outside of WalMart. She was in tears begging people to adopt her kittens, because her dad was gonna "kill them." Joy, a lady I work with, finally convinced me that I needed a kitten to keep me company in my lonely little apartment.

So here we are, and I definitely know that I made the right choice. I love this little kitten more than almost every human I know. Haha. Even though I've only had him 2 days, he is already the light of my life. :] I can't remember the last time I was this happy. :]

Well well....

What to talk about?

Had the family reunion last weekend. It was good to see all the aunts, uncles, and cousins. Played soem miniature golf... Didn't come in dead last. ;) Went swimming with all the little cousins.. Idk why little kids love me... because they drive me crazy. haha. Steph came up with us too. It was good to have Tyson there too. :]

I went to Jill's baby shower Sunday evening. It was really nice; Kristi had everything planned down to a t. We played some pretty ridiculous games. One was passing a pacifier around in an circle with your mouth, and the another one you had to guess the flavor of the baby food by taste and smell.. *vomit* I got Jill a little pink and white polka dot onsie with a cute little overall skirt thing... and some hair accessories.

I went to an Every Time I Die concert on Tuesday. It was awesome. My friend Justin and Brett's band, Cremation 186 played. It was good to see Brett again, and to meet up with some old friends... and meet some new ones. :] We went to Denney's afterwards. It's kind of our tradition.

Well... That's all for now...
I 'spose...

Where did summer go?

As always, I am the worst person to blog consistantly.
So much has changed this summer.

Probably the biggest change is that I moved out. I have really enjoyed living on my own. I moved in here the 1st of July. I have it decorated pretty cute. :]

I am also learning French and Turkish. :] I have been craving learning and knowledge. Haha. I guess that's what happens when you don't go to "real" college. I've been learning how to cook my own meals also... And I've become pretty crafty... Basically... I think moving out has really made me grow in a very little time.

Another thing that is new is my tattoo. I wanted to get something that meant something to me; something I loved and had a passion for... Obviously my parents hate it, but I like it, and it means a lot to me.


This summer has been pretty good. The forth of July was fun. Went and hung out at some friends' house who live near downtown. So we saw the fireworks alright, without having to fight the crowds. I've met a lot of new people whom I have grown pretty close to. :] I am going to Boise on Thursday to hang out with some friends. :] The family reunion is coming up the second week of August. I got work off for it. :] I'm stoked! I love our family. Also, Kurtis (My Bestie) is coming down from Spokane to hang out with me. :D

That's all for now...
:]