Huh... Well then.

My life has changed a little bit since the last post.

Brent and I broke up last Sunday. This distance was just too much for me. We tried to make it work, but the split showed me his true colors. Anyways, I feel so much better now. It's like a deep breath of relief. It's put me in a really good mood... So who knows. I'm sure it was for the best. Everything happens for a reason.

Ryan's family leaves for Oregon tomorrow. :[ I am going to miss them so much. I hope they have a safe trip and can start a great new life over there.

Anyways... This is going to be a quick short update; I've gotta head to work.

I'm alive.... Kind of.

So, I've been sick all day with a stupid head cold. I've been sleeping all day. I didn't go to work today; my co-worker thinks it's cause I have a hangover... 1. I don't drink. 2. Since when does drinking cause head colds? Oh well.

Yesterday was my 19th birthday. I had to work, but I did go to Denney's after work with some friends. It was really nice. :] Here is a few pictures from the night:


Brent came up last weekend to celebrate my birthday early. He got me a new panda to add to my collection and an hour massage. I loved both of them. :]

Well, I'm still really sick, and that is all I have to say for now. :/

My Heart....

Just ramblings... Sorry I jump from topic to topic....

When I love someone, I love them with all that I have to give. I always thought that was one of my positive qualities about me... but when you lose that person or come close to losing that person... It takes a toll on your heart. I am a very emotional person I have come to find. It does not take much to pull at my heart strings and make me tear up. Sometimes I feel like crying is as easy as breathing for me. I subconsciously try to make people happy, even if it means hurting myself. Sometimes I feel like an open book... I'll spill my heart to anyone I think cares... but at the same time, no one really knows what I'm feeling... I can vent and vent, and I still feel like no one knows Natalie. It's frustrating to know that certain events in my life have changed my perspective on things. And no matter how hard I try to tell myself to not think that way or not act that way.... It is just an automatic thing. I've put myself in many stupid situations and have made some incredibly stupid choices already in my life, and I'm ready to stop making them... But more than that I want to let them go and not eat away at me... not make me feel like a bad person. I find that the hardest person to forgive is myself. I don't know what I'm really trying to say in this... I just need to write things out and maybe I'll find something useful in it to help me right now. I guess there are just a lot of things bringing me down lately... my brother moving... brent being so far away, trying to save money, growing up, moving. All that. It's just wearing me down. This past week I've just felt... so depressed. Like my life is out of my control... out of my hands. I'm just having Deja Vu... I just want to be out of this rut I'm in... I don't even know the cause, but it makes me have a negative outlook on everything else in my life... and I'd like to stop it before it ruins everything good in my life.

Last Days With Steph.

Well, Steph left on Sunday to go back to Boise. :[ Not happy about that. But we've had a really good last week together. We did a lot of shopping on last Tuesday. I bought new black and red rocks for my fish tank, and a new Asian decoration for it. I'm trying to make it match the theme of my room. I still need to buy a Buddha head for it. We also bought some twine to make a headboard out of the bamboo I bought when I was with Brent (see previous post). We also bought some string to make bracelets out of.

When we got back to my house we cleaned out my fish tank ENTIRELY and filled it with the new rocks and stuff. It was a huge project, but it looks really nice now. We also made the bamboo headboard, which looks awesome. :] Let's see... what else have we done... We went on a few late night Alberto's runs. mmm. Ohhh and we went to Hastings and I got three movies that look really good for $10. I got, The Secret Life of Bees, Milk, and Slum Dog Millionaire. We also rented and watched 9. It was way cute and realllly good. That's all I have to say for now.

Short Trip

Well this weekend was short but sweet. Brent came up Saturday night and him, Tyler, Liz and I all went out to Red Robin for dinner, and then went to my house to hot tub and relax. We watched some way old episodes of House. Liz and Tyler went back to her house in Pocatello. Sunday, Brent and I decided to go see Youth in Revolt at 3, but realized that Brent had lost his wallet. We eventually found out that he had left it at Red Robin, so we swung by there to get it and still had a few hours to kill. So we headed over to Starbucks and then to Best Buy to see if there was anything Brent wanted to get with his gift cards he had got for Christmas. Well... upon leaving Best Buy we realized that I had locked my keys in my car... Haha. So we decided we'd just walk over to our movie that was in 45 minutes, cause it was right across the street, and then just have my parents bring us the spare key. Since we still had some time to kill, we decided to see if there was anything good in Ross. Brent bought some shirts, and I ended up finding a nice vase and bamboo for pretty cheap... Upon leaving THAT store, we realized... "Oh, we don't have anywhere to put our stuff..." haha. They ended up letting us keep it there until after our movie and when my parents brought us my key. Needless to say, Sunday was full of failures. :P haha. But I had a great weekend with Brent. It definitely wasn't long enough, but I guess it was better than nothing. That's pretty much all that I have to say. :]

p.s. Notice that I didn't wait a month until I posted again? Hehe. :]

Procrastination at its best. :P

So, I really should be cleaning my room, but that doesn't sound fun, so I convinced myself that I need to write a blog first. hehe.

I got my paycheck today; that much closer to having my car paid off... haha. Man. I'm gonna be paying that thing off forever it seems like. haha. But I also am getting a little saved up for moving too. I guess I'm still planning on moving sometime around May unless something else comes up. Brent might be taking a paid internship from the EPA which would be in Washington D.C., but that's all I really know about the matter. And he might not even take it, so right now, I guess I'm just playing it by ear. It could be good for building his career, but suck for me in the sense that he'd be even FURTHER away and for even LONGER. But, oh well. It's not for certain at all, so I'll stop worrying about it. haha.

Speaking of Brent, he is coming up this weekend (hopefully), but not for very long. He would just be here tomorrow night and leave Sunday night. Oh well... One day is better than none at all. I'm very happy to see him. I've been missing him even more than usual lately. It just gets so hard. I think people should not take for granted getting to see their significant other daily, or even weekly... *sigh. I know everything will work out though. I've never loved or trusted someone so much.

Well, it's official. Ryan moves in 2 1/2 weeks... and I'm not ever happy about this. I don't know if it's just him for right now, or the whole family, but I'm assuming it's just him for right now. I am NOT excited for that. I love his little family so much. I would do absolutely anything for his kids. They are so cute and such sweet little spirits. I'm definitely going to have to visit them as much as I can, and hopefully, my mom is going to steal them in the summer for a little bit. I kinda feel bad for my mom; all her babies are moving away from her. I am so grateful for her. She is such an amazing mom. I don't know what I would do without her. I think that my family in general is just absolutely great.

I guess all that I have left to talk about is my hair. haha. I'm going back blonde. Jill, a girl at my work, just did more highlights. Here's what it looks like right now:

So this is the new year...

Well folks, it's 2010. Can you believe it?
I know I sure can't. I remember when it was the new millennium...
And look at us now; starting the next decade of the 2000's.
I feel like I've accomplished a lot this year. I finished high school in February, and beauty school in August. I've found a job doing hair, working with girls that I like. :] And I know that this year is gonna be even better. :] I haven't made any resolutions yet... I mean, I guess there's always the 'lose weight' one, but I don't know if anyone ever accomplishes that one... haha. I have been trying to run every night, but I've been slacking a little bit over the holidays... but I'm gonna try and keep it up. I can't really think of any other resolutions... I guess save money as much as I can. I'm moving out soon, so I have a feeling money is gonna be tight... haha.

As always, I have been an inconsistent blogger. Maybe I should make that one of my New Year's Resolutions. Haha. To try and blog more than once a month... hehe. I guess I'll start by filling you in on all my holiday adventures. Thanksgiving was great. My mom had eye surgery, so we didn't go to Wayne and Marcia's. Instead, my dad stepped up and made an amazing Thanksgiving dinner for us, since my mom had just had her surgery (what an amazing dad, eh?). Christmas came and went, just like it always does. The majority of my presents were kitchen stuff for when I move out, which we will talk about here shortly. :) Tyson and I teamed up and bought everyone a present together; we got my mom a new stainless steel garbage can for the kitchen, my dad a $50 gift certificate to Sportsman's Warehouse, and our Brother and Sister-In-Law we got Left 4 Dead 2 (they love Zombie video games). I got Tyson a new Xbox Controller, and he got me the Uglies Book Series that I LOVE. We, of course, went over to Wayne and Marcia's for Coffee Cakes, and then everyone came over to our house for dinner. I love the Holidays, because they are all about being with your family. :)

The weekend after Christmas, Brent, Me, and some friends all went to Lava Hot Springs to relax. It was a lot of fun, and I was VERY happy to see Brent. <3 He got me speakers for my laptop that look like a panda head, and some mittens that you plug into your laptop that heat your hands. *See Below*


New Years was kinda laid back.... I was very tired, and Steph was sick... We both kinda went to bed early. haha. But Brent called me and wished me a happy new year, and told me he missed me, and wished he could be with me... heh. <3


And now to the part about me moving out. :D haha. So I recently realized that I'll be looking for a place to live down in Utah in 4 MONTHS! I can't believe how close it is, but I'm super excited. No more missing Brent for me! However, I know I'm going to miss my family so much. :[ I don't know what I'm gonna do without my mom especially. I know I'm gonna be calling her every day. :P And idk what I'm gonna do without my best friend, Tyson. *sigh* But that's life. You've gotta grow up someday right? I'm very excited, but very nervous too. I know I'll make it though. :]

Speaking of moving. Ryan got a job 13 hours away in Oregon. This means I won't be able to see my little nephew and nieces as often. *sob* I love those little ones so much. I'm definitely going to be visiting them whenever I can. I can't imagine how my mom feels losing her baby, and then her grand-babies.

Anyways, I guess you are all caught up on my life now. :]

At least I blog once a month?

Haha. Sooo, once again, I'm going to apologize for being the most inconsistent blogger. Now let's get to business.

I finally got a job doing hair! I work at the Smart Style in the Ammon Walmart. I started on the second of this month. I love the girls that I work with there. They are all really fun, and I get along really well with all of them. I've been making some pretty good tips, and I've gotten into the groove of things pretty fast. :] Not bad for my manager not really telling me ANYTHING. haha. But, I love it. :]

I haven't seen Brent for little over a month now. :[ He was supposed to come up this weekend, but it snowed, and the roads were pretty bad. Hopefully he's coming up for Thanksgiving. I really hope he can come up. I miss him so much. I think the time and the distance has been getting to both of us lately. I cant' wait to see him again.

Interesting: Watch

Fifty People, One Question: New Orleans from Benjamin Reece on Vimeo.

I deserve the award for...

Worst consistent blogger. haha.

I see that the last blog I posted was right after boards... So you should know that I passed with flying colors. I got a 94 on the written, and a 90 on the practical. Preeeetty dang good if you ask me. ;) I already got my license in the mail, and I'm just waiting to find a job. I'm to the point where I've been applying for jobs not even pertaining to hair. I am kind of hoping I get this job as a secretary at this aesthetics clinic. It's kinda along the lines of cosmetology... right? Haha, even if it is cosmetic surgery... Anyways, I WISH I could get a job doing hair, but at this point in time, any job is fine by me. I need to start making money if I'm gonna pay off my car, and move out in the spring!

Brent came down this weekend, which was GREAT because I've been really lonely sitting at home all day with my best friend in Boise, and him in Salt Lake. Thank God for family right? They have been my only friends lately, which is totally fine, but I have a bad case of cabin fever. Anyway, it was really nice to see him. I've missed him soooo much. Long distance relationships are definitely hard, but if you've found the right person, it is totally worth it. I'm just grateful for the internet and the phone, because it would be MUCH harder. Friday night we went to dinner at Mongolian Grill (he's been craving it ever since he was up here for the forth of July), and hot-tubbed, and went to bed. The next day we planned on going to Mesa Falls, but ended up having to take the trailer hitch up to mom and dad, and we decided to go to "dunch." Brent and I then decided that it was too late in the day to go to Mesa Falls, and just headed home. Stephanie and Tyson agreed to go see the informant with us. Man... I've never watched a movie with so many... twists? You never knew who was on the good side or bad side. haha. Anyways, it was just a really relaxing weekend, and I'm very glad I got to see Brent and Steph.

Now I'm back to my waiting game for a job, and sitting on the computer all day. haha. I guess I can't complain about sleeping in...

OH! I forgot to mention. I drastically changed my hair. I've gone from Long Blond, to A-line Brunette. Here's some pictures of the before and after: